POMPEII PLEBSITE FOUND

Archaeologists have discovered an astonishing new document in the ruins of Pompeii.

Known technically as a 'plebsite', the document sheds a fascinating light on the way the citizens of Pompeii failed to prepare for the disaster which destroyed their city in 79 AD.

As Dr Karl Thacker of Baden-Baden explained: 'A plebsite should not be confused with a plebiscite. A plebiscite represented the will of the people over an important matter. A plebsite was just a bunch of idiots jabbering on.'

The remains of the plebsite were discovered on the extreme edge of the city, where the locals would have been among the first to suffer the effects of the catastrophic volcanic eruption. According to Dr Thacker, it charts the attempts of a minority group to oppose plans to safeguard the city from destruction.

'A very bizarre group of people calling themselves Pompeii People Against Solutions to Vesuvius (PPASV) seems to have been, in its small way, partly responsible for the disaster. They strenuously opposed all attempts at averting it. As the plebsite shows, their arguments were quite crazy, really.'

The first stele to have been discovered appears to have been an introduction to the aims of PPASV. Translated by Dr Thacker, it declared that 'Pompeii People Against Solutions for Vesuvius are a pro-solutions for Vesuvius group, but we believe that only "appropriate" solutions should be allowed, and that means nothing near us.'

Professor Bontoni of Naples explains: 'A solution to the looming problem had been put forward. It would have been both elegant and effective. Laboratory tests have proven that the defensive measures, initiated under the Roman SPQR banner, would have mitigated the effects of the eruption, saving many homes and lives, as well as providing heat and light for the citizens.

'But, for reasons which remain obscure, this small group refused to allow the protective measures to be taken.'

As subsequent steles were unearthed, it became clear that the frantic PPASV group made a series of extraordinary claims about the defensive measures. Some cried 'witchcraft'. Others insisted that the scheme would spoil their view of the volcano, would affect the values of their properties, and even that Vesuvius was never going to blow anyway.

'One stele shows a whole bunch of bent spoons,' says Dr Thacker, 'suggesting that Pompeii People Against Solutions for Vesuvius hadn't really grasped what was being proposed.'

The PPASV plebsite is helping the experts to understand a peculiar wall frieze which has also been partly excavated. One image shows a man holding a large cockerel up to another man's ear. Dr Thacker suspects that this was an attempt at persuading people that the defences would sound a bit like a cockerel sqwaking in your ear, although Professor Bontoni's laboratory tests indicate that the defences would have been more or less silent.

Another image shows a man bending over, with words emerging from his bottom. 'This, we think, is a depiction of a PPASV spokesman,' says Dr Thacker.

'PPASV also sent people to Herculaneum to persuade the citizens that the defensive measures would "blight their lives" and "kill the countryside". As we all know, Herculaneum was also destroyed. But perhaps, if people hadn't got caught up in the PPASV madness, they might have been able to save themselves and their cities.'

Professor Bontoni agrees. 'These were not the brightest of people. I mean, when you think about it, what kind of person would campaign so dishonestly against such a vital and effective scheme, one which would have provided many benefits, not least of all, of course, the protection of the area against a massive disaster?

'Luckily for us all, people are a lot more sensible and intelligent nowadays.'