VVASP LIE No. 3

One thing the nimbes can't stand is someone who knows what they're on about.

Recently, a villager walked into the local watering hole and announced that he'd just had a holiday right by a windfarm and he couldn't see what all the fuss was about. That's the very opposite of what VVASP what people to hear. Of course, if they were genuinely 'Providing Information' to allow people to make an 'Informed Decision', such testimony would be rather useful. But VVASP are not there to provide real information. They're there to fill your head with cavity wall insulation.

Vale Villagers Against Sound Practice (VVASP) don't just spread silly rumours and inaccurate information. They go to great lengths to stop the spread of legitimate information.

At one of the recent ScottishPower Renewables' public information sessions, somebody or other was rabbiting VVASP nonsense at a consultant from Dulas, a Wales-based co-operative that advises on environmental projects. This resident kept saying, 'They're noisy, they're expensive!' Which, let's face it, is like marching up to a greengrocer and snarling: 'Oranges are blue and they taste of manure!' Somebody who knew nothing about the subject was telling somebody who knew a lot about the subject a load of old cobblers.

When a member of the public questioned this person's confident assertions, asking how they knew windfarms were noisy - had they ever been to one? - something strange happened.

The individual concerned said nothing. Just the merest nod to another part of the hall, and he was out of there, instantly replaced by a more aggressive member of the nimby gang.

So what were meant to be occasions when local residents could find out from the experts exactly what is being proposed turned into VVASP rallies where no scientific fact was allowed to get in the way. 'Providing Information to the Community', again - or, rather, 'Preventing Information from falling into the hands of the Community'.

Supporters of the windfarm do have a problem here, because even when you're sure of your ground (you've visited a windfarm or two, you've looked into the material, you've engaged your brain), the slipperiness of the protesters can catch you off-guard. They'll say something that is so banal, so outrageous, that the only proper response is to burst out laughing.

But windfarm supporters are polite, gentle people, and when residents are evidently distressed (thanks to VVASP's irresponsible behaviour), they don't want to laugh. They want to help, to reassure.

Sometimes, though, we can't. Take the latest VVASP lie. You can tell that it's a lie because it's growing all the time, like a dark cloud over the Lenches. Nitwits are competing with each other to see who can make the silliest statement, who can get most worked up about it.

And the first time a sensible person hears it, they're floored.

On Monday, it would seem, everybody's house had lost 30% of its value because of this windfarm. Those of us who were unaware of this - including local estate agents - only had worse to come. Because by Thursday, the predicted plummet in property values had reached 52%.

At this rate, by the middle of October every desirable residence in the Lenches will be worth about 20p (an investment opportunity if ever there was one). Come Christmas, and we'll have to stump up seven times the original value of our house just to get someone to take it off our hands!

You have to admit it: VVASP know how to get people where it hurts. Forget about whether there's any truth in it or not (there isn't, obviously) - the nimbies really know how to mess with their neighbours' heads. And they're not afraid to do it.

Well, let's run through the facts again. Why not?

The Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors (who, as we all know, all work for windfarm companies) have looked into this. In some areas, in the past, estate agents did voice opinions that an imminent windfarm might affect prices, although none of them could find evidence that it had. The RICS concluded that there was no hard evidence at all of windfarms harming the local property market.

Oxford Brookes University looked into this. They found that in one area in Cornwall, a few terraced houses were cheaper than elsewhere. But all those people dwelling in the famous terraced houses of Lenchland needn't worry, because the study then found that those houses were ex-MoD properties and were going cheap anyway. Again, no evidence of windfarms having an adverse effect.

A huge study in America, covering six years, of over 25,000 property transactions and ten large windfarm developments came up with some extraordinary results.

In the vast majority of cases, properties in proximity to a windfarm ROSE IN VALUE faster than comparable properties elsewhere.

What???

You mean - houses in the Lenches might actually INCREASE in value, thanks to the windfarm?

Well, that's what the largest study conducted so far would seem to suggest.

But if VVASP are 'Providing Information' to the community, why does nobody know this? Why does everybody seem to believe that their house is rapidly heading towards being worth next to nothing?

You'd have to ask them that. Presumably, the vision of all their neighbours descending into panic over a completely fictitious house price alarm amuses VVASP far more than the idea of them doing rather well out of the windfarm.

Or maybe the robots of VVASP have a plan to scare the Lenches' residents so much that they'll be able to snap up lots of lovely properties for development. Who knows.

But one thing is clear - if we stick to the facts, that is. All this guff about your house being worth 30% less, or 52% less, or 189% less, is sheer codswallop.

Isn't it nice of VVASP, though, to make you think that your house is worth nothing?